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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Goldberg, Office Style

My friend has lately been assailed at work by a perky person who shows up and cries "Haiiiiiieee!" in the middle of her thought process. It occurred to me that she wanted a mechanism to dispose of this person, and after thoughtful consideration of the resources at her disposal (largely pets: two ferrets, a vile-tempered cat of unrestrained evil, and one pistol shrimp whose claws produce a pop serious enough to stun prey) I produced the following fail-proof system for her, which has the additional benefit of depositing the miscreant, who apparently cares about her appearance to the point of having installed a full-length mirror in her cubicle, in a bed of slugs, which does break a 2-story fall. We don't want injuries on this blog.


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